This week I’d like to talk about choices.

The choices we make can have such a profound effect on our lives. Sometimes we are responsible for the choices we make, sometimes we are part of a bigger picture and choices seem to be made for us. Is there such a thing as too much choice? Does making a choice get easier or more difficult, the more important it is? If we don’t have a choice about something, are we ultimately more content because we have no regrets and can't wish we had tried or done something else?

I went to the Isle of Man last weekend and it was like taking a trip back in time. We had limited our choice of hotels by not taking a car; even then, there wasn’t actually much choice! The hotel was not somewhere I would normally stay. It was a bit dated, very tired looking and had the quirkiest layout I have ever encountered, plus a hairdryer that seemed to have been made in the 1840s! If I had seen pictures of a hotel like this in London I wouldn’t even have considered it. But we had no choice, and having no choice forces you to seek out the positives. The view from our hotel window was stunning, the room was immaculately clean, and the staff were friendly, efficient and helpful. In the end, we had a wonderful two night stay there.

Here’s what the experience last weekend told me: things sometimes don’t turn out how you would have originally planned, but it’s up to you (to me!) to decide how you react.

Some of my clients are incredibly inspiring. Although I can see that they suffer chronic pain and struggle to practice yoga or Pilates, they never give up. They choose to keep moving, stay strong and refuse to limit their opportunities to take life by the scruff of the neck and live it! They are my role models and I feel so privileged to have them come to my classes.

I’m probably worse than average at reacting to setbacks and can find myself brooding on things I did or didn’t do from time to time. Fortunately, though, I know this and can try to fix it. I think we can all choose how to react to a situation and take responsibility for our own emotions and actions to react in a calm, considered way. Very often the things we get impatient about are pretty meaningless, when it comes down to it, and make very little difference to our lives.

Michael Stone, yoga teacher and psychotherapist, writes:

"You don't have to practice generosity, you just work with your capacity for greed, and in the absence of greed, generosity shows up. You work with your capacity for anger, and in the absence of anger, friendliness shows up. You work with your capacity for distractedness, and in the absence of distractedness, equanimity shows up. The point of what we call 'practice' is that it's a process of uncovering the forces of good that were there in the first place."

When we practise yoga and Pilates, we are choosing to look after ourselves. To give ourselves some time away from our busy schedules, quieten our minds and be in the moment. Studying yoga and Pilates have taught me to take responsibility for my emotions and to put things into perspective, and understand the difference between want and need!

I was lucky enough to attend an outside yoga practice on Tunbridge Wells Common last Sunday, hosted by the beautiful Brigid Godwin of Unity Yoga. The sense of space in gorgeous surroundings in the lovely weather was a real treat. It felt like an opportunity for me and the other participants to connect with nature and really understand the value of — quite literally — feeling grounded and connecting with our roots. Poses like Vrksasana, or Tree Pose, take on a whole new meaning at times like this and it becomes more meaningful to understand the need to be steady, calm and stable.

You hear the words "being grounded" more and more these days, but I wonder if perhaps we don't always give full consideration as to their meaning. It’s so important to have that sense of feeling connected, understanding our purpose in life, being clear about what is important to us and experiencing a sense of belonging. Don’t you think?

My fascination with the philosophy of yoga comes down to how relevant it remains today and the influence it has, even if we don’t realise it, on the way we approach our lives. Time and again, as I read more and study modern theories further I see the connections to yoga and I’m staggered how sophisticated the yogis’ thinking and approach to life was. They realised the importance of establishing roots: build firm foundations and from those roots everything else will grow.

Chakra is a Sanskrit word that means wheel or vortex. Yoga philosophy says that there are seven primary Chakras in the body, from the area of the tailbone (coccyx) to the crown of the head. They are vital energy centres that open and close as we think, feel, respond and react to the world around us.

When we start our journey through the Chakras, we usually start with the root of them: Muladhara Chakra. The root Chakra is our security, giving us a sense of grounding. It’s where our survival skills originate from. We need to be grounded, know ourselves and have firm foundations in order to move on. This is the point from which all things begin and is the foundation of our whole system, the building block on which all the other Chakras must rest. It relates to the element earth and all solid, earthy things, such as our bodies, our health, our survival, our material and monetary existence, our ability to focus and achieve our objectives in life. The yogis suggested that if we don't have our roots in place, it is very difficult to ever feel secure and happy. Our basic needs are the most important.

That was then. And now?

In the 1940s the American psychologist Abraham Maslow proposed a theory which suggested that the most basic level of needs must be met before an individual will strongly desire, or focus motivation upon, the secondary or higher level. He — perhaps a little immodestly! — called it “Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs”.

I’ve always been struck by the similarities of the five stages of Maslow's pyramid to the seven Chakras and noticed how a relatively modern theory suggested pretty much exactly the same as a philosophy put forward by the yogis over a thousand years ago. We must meet our physiological needs for ourselves and those important to us before we can work our way up the pyramid and reach self-actualisation.

Both theories have so much relevance to how we structure our lives today and the way we seem to spend so many hours striving for the next thing. Wanting more, but forgetting how important it is to connect with our roots, man!

I often chat with clients who tell me that they would like to learn to meditate — and that’s great. When I look at them in class, however, they can barely sit still for five minutes! 

If you think about it, it’s not all that surprising. Our lives these days are consumed by endless stimulation and activity and we rarely get the time to stop and think about how we feel. Often we don't really want to! If we’re feeling low or anxious, we tend to find further activities or distractions to take our minds off things and make us feel better. And then there’s the added frustration of not being able to fit anything else into our already frenetic lives, which leaves us feeling even more depleted! It’s a vicious circle.

How often do we find the courage to stop and consider how we might change things? Continuing to do the same things but expecting a different result is literally insane, surely? But many of us are guilty of doing just that.

Some people have the wrong idea about meditation and think it’s a way of escaping reality. It’s not. The objective of meditation is to make us see reality as it is.

In order to see reality, we have to first calm the mind. Our mind behaves like a captive monkey which, as it becomes agitated, gets more and more entangled in its bonds. We need to find a way to escape the bonds.

One of the ways to help to distract and calm the mind is simply to observe our breathing. Yogi Donna Farhi tells us that breathing is the most readily accessible resource we have for creating and sustaining our vital energy. Most of us have lost our connection with our breath. Breathing should be the simplest, most natural thing in the world... but thinking about it, if it were that easy, there wouldn't be as many unhappy or unhealthy people in the world.

Most people are unaware of how poorly they breathe and often find themselves breathing high into the chest, taking in breaths too fast and too shallowly. They don’t realise that breathing deeply can lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Taking the time to focus on how we breathe is a wonderful distraction and even just observing how someone respires can cause one’s own breath to slow.

For me — and please bear in mind that this is just my own opinion, based on personal experience and having worked to try and help people relax during my years of teaching — the first step is to simply just find a way of distracting the mind. For many people it becomes yet another frustration if they can't instantly sit and quietly breathe, let alone meditate. But meditation, almost by definition, demands patience… which is precisely what many of us don't have. Learning how to meditate properly can take years. 

Meditation can wait for now. What is more achievable in the short term is the ability to recognise what distracts our monkey minds from everything else and identifying how it feels. That is the feeling that will help us move towards being able to meditate. For me it is summed up by this quote about reading a book:

"I opened a book and in I strode; now nobody can find me."

Ever since I was a small child, reading books has completely consumed me. I switch off from everything else, my mind is completely distracted and I don't have time to worry about anything else. It isn't true meditation, but it is a first step. Your first step may be running or walking in the countryside and listening to the sounds around you, and noticing the colours and variety of trees and flowers,

When you are consumed by whatever activity it is that captivates you, you will notice that your breath is longer and calmer. You feel more relaxed and refreshed. You will have taken the first step towards being able to meditate.